Daaaaaaang.

Again, no picture. Sorry. it didn’t last long enough.

Here’s the breakdown:  It was supposed to be roquefort stuffed pork chops, but we didn’t have roquefort, so it was gorgonzola stuffed pork chops, and I was worried about them being dry so I made a pan sauce and holy shit, let’s always make pan sauces from now on.

• 3 tablespoons butter, divided
• 4 1” thick pork chops
• 1.5 cups cubed french bread (we rocked a $.99 Trader Joe’s demi baguette)
• 1 cup chopped mushrooms
• 2 tbsp. minced shallot
• 1 tsp. chopped fresh rosemary 
• half a cup of crumbled gorgonzola cheese
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 cup chicken stock
• 1 cup apple cider

Simple, right?  Can’t possibly taste good, right?  FUCK NO, HATER.  It can and does taste absolutely amazing, and here’s how you do it:

Preheat oven to 350º.

Sauté the bread cubes in 1 tbsp. butter over medium heat for about ten minutes or until golden, stirring frequently.  Set them aside in a medium bowl and add another tbsp. of butter to the pan.  Add the mushrooms, shallot and rosemary.  Sauté five minutes or until tender.  Add to the breadcrumbs and refrigerate until cool.

Meanwhile, season and brown pork chops on both sides in an additional tbsp. of butter, then set aside.  Remove stuffing from refrigerator and add gorgonzola and a little chicken stock (2 tbsp or so).  Smash or crush stuffing with potato masher or hammer (or whatever you have handy), butterfly the pork chops, stuff them and toothpick ‘em closed.  Bake in some sort of baking dish with a little bit more chicken stock for 12-15 minutes.

As for the pan, deglaze it with the cup of chicken stock and the apple cider, adding the garlic and a little bit of the stuffing as well.  Reduce until thickened and spoon over chops.

Moan like a cheap whore about how good it tastes, then realize the whole thing probably cost you $10.

You’re welcome.

Done and done.  

1 cucumber, seeded and grated.  

(It’s really good.  When my mouth is on fire from the salsa or the chicken, this will be delightful.)

So I just finished making the marinade for what passes for tandoori chicken here in the USA (we’re huge on authenticity, just ask the Croissan’wich or anything at an Olive Garden, ever).  I don’t own a tandoor, so I’m not exactly killing myself over it, but for actual Indian people, you might want to quit reading because what follows is probably offensive, culturally.

I used roughly three pounds of chicken, half from breast tenderloins and half from thighs which I let sit in a mixture of lemon juice and salt for 20 minutes while I made the yogurt stuff.  Prior to salting/juicing I punched little holes in them with a needle and made some small cuts along them to help the marinade penetrate.

I mixed together one (2 cup) container of Trader Joe’s Greek yogurt, 2 minced cloves of garlic, 1/2 an onion (also minced), 2 teaspoons of fresh grated ginger, 3 teaspoons of garam masala, a teaspoon and a half of cayenne pepper and half a teaspoon each of paprika and turmeric, stirred like a maniac until it was all blended well, then poured it over the chicken in a very large Glad tupperware container thing, where it will sit for 24 hours or so.

Tomorrow I will let you know how it all turns out. 

So last night I wanted to make something quick, simple and tasty so Stacey and I could hunker down and watch The Wire.  I didn’t want to be in the kitchen all night and I didn’t want to use every pan, pot and dish in the arsenal so I went for bone-in chicken breasts stuffed with zucchini, roasted red pepper, garlic, onions and goat cheese.  For a side I just made those brown buttered snow peas with almonds.

Stacey brought a bottle of cheap chardonnay from Trader Joe’s.

Surprisingly, this was one of the best dinners we’ve had in a long time.  It was just plain good, which was kind of weird considering how easy it is to make and how few ingredients there are to work with.

So get this:

You sauté minced shallots in oil, then add grated zucchini and minced garlic.  When the zucchini is just softened you add an ounce of goat cheese and some minced roasted red pepper and stir until the cheese melts.  Add salt and pepper and let it cool for a few minutes.

Loosen the skin on the chicken breasts, stuff the shallot/zucchini/etc mixture in there, toothpick it closed and bake on one of those glass Pyrex doodads for 30-35 minutes at 425º.  When they’re done you put the chicken on a plate, pour a little chicken broth in the Pyrex, scrape up the brown bits and dump the whole mess in a tiny pan.  Boil it down until it’s nice and reduced, then pour it over the chicken.

For the peas, you just heat a tablespoon of butter in a wok or skillet, add almonds and stir like a motherfucker until they begin to toast and the butter starts to brown.  Add a couple tablespoons of minced shallots and a half pound of snow peas and cook for a couple minutes until they’re warm.  Add salt and a tablespoon of lemon juice, then put them next to the chicken.

Eat, and make embarrassing moaning noises until finished.

You want to know the best part about this meal?

Chicken on sale at Jewel: $1.00/lb. (x2): $2.50

1oz. goat cheese: $.50

1 shallot: $.50

Bottled red pepper (2tbsp): $.50

1 clove garlic: $.10

1/4 cup almonds: $.65

1/2lb. snow peas: $.50

2tbsp butter: $.10

1 lemon: $.40

1/2c. chicken stock: $.25

1 zucchini: $.50

Wine: $5.00

TOTAL: $11.50

That’s $5.75 per person for the best dinner we’ve had all month plus three glasses of wine apiece.  I fucking love cooking.

I’m kidding.  I’m carved from fucking marble.  The only fat on me is in my back pocket, and I’m talking about my bulging wallet, not my walnut crackin’ derriere.  Again, I’m kidding.  I’m so broke I sell heroin to schoolchildren down by the post office.  KIDDING.  It’s weed.  KIDDING, but I do blow guys at Steamworks.

…

Anyhow, in my neverending attempt to please my girlfriend’s palate, I once again attempted to make a sandwich she had at Julius Meinl, because those sons of bitches make some seriously tasty lunch fare.  This time, no bechamel.  No black forest ham.  No brioche.  

Aside from skimping by using plain old cinnamon raisin bread instead of sunflower and golden raisin bread from some Evanston bakery I don’t feel like going to, I managed to knock out a pretty damned good pear and brie on raisin bread with tarragon aioli and dijon mustard.

Because I’m crafty like that, and I like replicating recipes.  

(PS: it was delicious.)